There’s this opinion floating around out there that crochet is great for blankets and the odd scarf, but works up so bulky and stiff that knitting is really the only way to make pretty garments. Most of the time I argue firmly against this. Crochet can be gorgeous.

But there are so many patterns out there that perpetuate the image of crochet as knitting’s ugly little sister, both in clothing and accessories. I’ve always wanted to write a brilliantly snarky entry about some of my favorite horrors, but after more thought, I believe they really speak for themselves.

I introduce you, dear readers, to a new series: Indefensible crochet. Patterns so ugly that I’m left speechless with an overwhelming sympathy for the poor models and the poor recipients of such works of hideousness.